Resources available from the Queensland Christadelphian Support Network

Alcoholism...

Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book, the basic Text for Alcoholics Anonymous.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions: A co‑founder of AA tells how members recover and how the

Society functions (AA World Services)

Adult Children of Alcoholics: by Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D.

You don't have to be an AcoA to read this book. You don't have to be an AcoA to need this book. Janet, the 'mother' of the AcoA movement, provides wisdom and information for all Adult Children of dysfunctional families, and shares the recovery hints that she has found to work for her clients since 1983 when she broke new ground in understanding what it is to be an AcoA.

 Anger...

The Dance of Anger: by Harriet Lerner, Ph. D.

 Depression...

 How to Heal Depression: by Dr. Harold H. Bloomfield.

More than two‑thirds of people who are depressed don't know it. One of them may be your friend, colleague, child, parent or partner. One of them may even be you. You can suffer from depression and not feel sad or emotionally down. Depression is an illness‑ like heart disease, high blood pressure, or diabetes. It affects the body, mind and emotions. It is not a character flaw, personal weakness, or lack of discipline. It may be genetic. Being depressed is nobody's fault. It is nothing to be ashamed of. The message of this book is that depression is treatable. The authors have produced a book that is uplifting, encouraging, full of information and insight and could change your life.

Malignant Sadness: The Anatomy of Depression by Lewis Wolpert.

Several years ago, the author had a severe depressive episode. Despite a happy marriage and successful scientific career, he could think only of suicide. When eventually he did recover, he became aware of the stigma attached to depression‑and just how difficult it was to get reliable information. With characteristic candour and determination, he set about writing this book. This acclaimed investigation into the causes and treatments of this devastating disease is now a two part documentary screened recently on the ABC. TOP

Grief and Loss...

 Coping with Grief. by Mal McKissock and Dianne McKissock. First published in 1985 this slim volume of only 64 pages has become essential reading for anyone interested in understanding the grief process, being reprinted 16 times up until 1999. "The experience of grief, in response to loss, is known to all human beings, regardless of age, sex, creed and culture. Extremes of grief appear when one loses a close and meaningful relationship. Death, divorce, separation, abortion, the loss of a limb or lifestyle, even forced retirement will precipitate this most painful human emotion."

Health & Wellbeing...

Various topics, though concisely dealt with in this all‑Australian series, are handled well and surprisingly in depth, making a useful introduction to the conditions they describe.

Don't Panic: by Dr Andrew Page. Overcoming anxiety, phobias & Tension, your 4 step guide to control anxiety disorders 

Living with Chronic Pain: by Dr Mark Ragg. The mind body connection explained, how you can help yourself, drugs and other treatments 

Doctor, I'm Tired: by Dr Christine Read. Causes and treatment of fatigue sleep disorders, depression, chronic fatigue syndrome.  

Overcoming Overeating Disorders: By Steve Brigham. The two most common forms anorexia and bulimia are explained and strategies to help overcome them discussed There is  also a useful short section on compulsive overeating. 

Surviving Sexual Abuse: by Elizabeth Kelly. This book offers a compassionate and comprehensive overview of the problem, exploring strategies to limit the damage. 

You Can Control Your Drinking: By Andrew and Cindy Page. Psychologists Andrew and Cindy Page explain the concept of controlled drinking and how it can be implemented in various social situations. Also explored are issues that impinge on drinking, such as stress and lack of self‑confidence. 

Alzheimer's  Disease: Dr Bill Grant.

A carer's guide. Packed with advice and information from a carer this book is a valuable resource. 

Also on Alzheimer's Disease: 

Who Will I Be When I Die? by Christine Boden. Christine Boden was 46 when diagnosed with Alzheimer's. This book is the story of her emotional, physical and spiritual journey in the years since May 1995. Living with the stages of Alzheimer's provides a unique insight into how it feels to be gradually losing ability to undertake tasks most of us take for granted. A must read for carers, families and friends of Alzheimer's sufferers.  TOP

Marriage and Divorce... 

After Every Wedding comes a Marriage: by Florence and Fred Littauer.

Filled with the humour that comes from a 45‑year journey together the authors share what they have learned dispelling the myth of the perfect marriage and perfection in general and get down to the reality of growing a happy and lasting marriage. Fascinating insights into different personality types together with practical steps from the scriptures give the reader powerful tools to use today. 

When a Mate Wants Out: Secrets for Saving a Marriage By Sally and Jim Conway.

You can restore your marriage with faith and an abundance of love; you can work toward restoration, drawing your mate back into a happier, more fulfilling marriage. Within a Christian framework, this book takes you from the first shock of abandonment through the hard work of restoration. 

When your Children Divorce: by Elaine R. Seppa.

Christians are usually caught off guard by divorce. While we accept we are not immune to the ravages of our culture on the family, it is still a shock to deal with in the families of our own children. Parents discover that it's not only their children's hopes and dreams that die. Their own dreams die as well. When it happens all the academic studies and exhortations seem of little use. Even close friends don't know how to help. How could we as parents failed so dismally in passing on our convictions to our children? They may wonder how their children seemed to give up so quickly on the ideals they‑and the church‑had tried to foster. Elaine Seppa writes with honesty and wisdom about her own experiences as two sons divorced and remarried, listened to and probed these feelings of powerlessness as others related their stories. The final chapters describe a spiritual journey marked by a closer walk with Christ, a deep calm, and trust in God who "restores all things". Elaine tells distressed parents, "your responsibility is to represent the grace and forgiveness of God in the midst of very imperfect circumstances". 

Parenting... 

Kids are worth it! Give your child the gift of inner discipline by Barbara Coloroso.

The key to good parenting is treating kids with respect; giving them a sense of positive power in their own loves; giving them opportunities to make decisions, take responsibility for their actions and learn from their successes and mistakes. Throughout the book, the author examines the approaches and methods of three typical types‑the brick wall, the jellyfish and the backbone. Through examples and humourous anecdotes, she demonstrates which of these approaches work, which don't, and why, in raising self‑assured, responsible and loving children. 

Raising boys: why boys are different (?) ‑ And how to help them become happy and well balanced men by Steve Biddulph.   TOP

RELATIONSHIPS... 

Videos:

"Boundaries" Two video set by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. 

Do you believe your life is out of control? Do you have trouble saying no? Can you set limits and still be a loving person? What are legitimate boundaries? Do you feel others take advantage of you?

The authors offer biblically based answers to these and other tough questions tough questions as they show us how to set healthy boundaries‑ personal property lines that mark out these things for which we are responsible. 

These videos are in eight clearly defined sessions of about 30‑40 mins. They will stimulate you to have clear physical, emotional, mental and spiritual boundaries. 

Session 1: What is a Boundary?
Session 2: Boundaries problems and Symptoms
Session 3: The Laws of Boundaries, Part I
Session 4: The Laws of Boundaries, Part 2
Session 5: The Myths of Boundaries
Session 6: A course of Recovery
Session 7: Resistance to Boundaries
Session 8: The Yardstick of Boundaries 

Books on the same topic by Cloud and Townsend: 

Boundaries

Boundaries In Marriage

Boundaries with Kids

Boundaries Workbook for study classes 

As companions to his sets of 3xlO videos; The Family, Homecoming and Creating Love. 

Healing The Shame That Binds You: by Dr John Bradshaw.

"Toxic" shame explains Bradshaw is the core problem in our compulsions, co-dependences, addictions and super or over achievement which often results in family breakdown and the inability to mature and go forward in our lives. 

Homecoming: by Dr John Bradshaw.

Here, using a wealth of practical techniques, informative case histories, and unique questionnaires, Bradshaw demonstrates how your wounded inner child may be causing you pain. You'll learn to gradually, safely, go back to reclaim and nurture that inner child‑ and literally help yourself grow up again. In this book we are shown how to: validate the inner child, break destructive family roles and rules, adopt new rules allowing honest self‑expression, deal with anger and difficult relationships, find new joy and energy in living, by reclaiming the wounded inner child.

Creating Love: by Dr John Bradshaw.

"I was brought up to believe that love is easy. That anyone related by blood naturally loved other family members, and that when the time was right, I would fall in love and naturally know what to do to develop that love. I now know that love is very difficult. Creating Love requires decision on my part, above all, it requires rigorous honesty, the courage to let another see me as I really am." John Bradshaw provides a way that may be new to us, to understand our most crucial relationships with parents and children, with friends, acquaintances and co‑workers, with ourselves, and with God. He shows how we can break free from the destructive patterns of counterfeit love and open ourselves to real honest love and building real relationships based on trust, faith, and not fear.  TOP

Family Secrets: The path to self‑acceptance and reunion by Dr John Bradshaw.

This book reveals and helps trace the family secrets, the invisible family patterns that have strongly influenced us all. The work is sometimes painful, but always enlightening. With Bradshaw's help the reader will perhaps come to a new understanding of self and the forces that have shaped the personality bringing one to a new appreciation and acceptance. From this, we can build more open, honest, and loving relationships with the people who matter most, ourselves, and above all with our God. 

Set Yourself Free: by Shirley Smith Ph D.

Live your life in balance by breaking the cycle of co-dependency and compulsive addictive behaviour. Co-dependency, Australia's most unrecognised disease, originates from the denial of the "true self' in order to survive within dysfunctional family systems. Co-dependents either isolate, or become very focused on and affected by others' behaviour. They have an impaired relationship with themselves because they are always on guard, hypervigilant, always looking outside themselves for signs of trouble. Co-dependency can result in stress, misery, and disrupted relationships, controlling behaviour and physical illness. It is the underlying cause of many addictions such as alcoholism, drug dependency, eating disorders, work‑aholism, sex addiction and love addicted relationships, and sets people up for abuse and to be abusers in their turn. This book provides practical keys on how to break the cycle of co-dependency and compulsive addictive behaviours letting go of the past and creating a balance in life. 

Changes that Heal: by Dr Henry Cloud. How to understand your past to ensure a healthier future 

Love is a Choice: by Drs Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth and Paul Meier. Recovery for co-dependent relationships. 

Happiness: "It's up to You"

Self‑talk is a very powerful tool. This book examines the way we talk to ourselves and shows through the easy steps of Rational Emotive Therapy how to reprogramme our old self‑defeating tapes to reflect present reality leading ultimately to self‑acceptance and good relationships by Dr Sabine Beecher. 

Learning to Love yourself: Finding your self‑worth. By Sharon Wegscheider‑Cruse

It is necessary to rid ourselves of toxic self‑defeating messages, and choose positive changes.. 

Choice‑making: for co-dependents, adult children and spirituality seekers. By Sharon Wegscheider­Cruse. TOP

An outline of the journey toward spirituality and wholeness‑ the freedom of choice‑ is provided in this book for all those who have lived with addictive relationships, whether the addiction was to a drug or to another person.

Understanding Co-dependency: by Sharon Wegscheider‑Cruse.

This book answers questions and develops framework for separating the person and their past from their current disease or disorder. It places the past and the present in their proper perspective and shows how to build a happy, healthy life. 

Inside Out: by Dr Larry Crabb.

Real change is possible if you're willing to start from the inside out. Do you want a vital union with God, richer relationships with others, a deeper sense of personal wholeness? Larry Crabb helps you look inside yourself and give God the opportunity to set you free from all that keeps you from living to the full. Real change is to do with facing the realities of your own life and letting God re-mould you into a person who is free to be honest, courageous and loving. Real change is possible. 

No One Is To Blame: Freedom from compulsive self defeating behaviour by Bob Hoffinan.

Most of us are familiar with the power of the messages about how to live our lives received early in life, when we were too young to know better. Many of us believe that these early messages were the best we could get considering all of the human factors. However, many of these messages had the effect of crippling our early lives. Is there anything we can do to change these messages and get better guides for ourselves? Bob Hoffinan's book though unconventional in the usual sense comes to this change through using his psychic knowledge to develop creative ways to come to more guidance that is useful. TOP

Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ: by Daniel Goleman.

This book serves as a guide in a journey through scientific insights into the emotions, a voyage aimed at bringing greater understanding to some of the most perplexing moments in our lives and in the world around us. The journey's end is to understand what it means‑and how‑to bring intelligence to emotion. 

Please Understand Me H: Temperament, Character, Intelligence: by David Keirsey.

This book will help you find your own individual personality style through use of the Keirsey Temperament Sorter questionnaire the most popular personality inventory in the world. Each of us, says the author, has four basic kinds of intelligence, though one of the four interests us far more than the others according to our temperament and thus gets far more use than the others. But the book's essential message is that we are all fundamentally different from each other and that we would do well to appreciate these differences and give up trying to change others into copies of ourselves.

 

Living Together: Encouraging Caring and Conflict Resolution; A Biblical Approach: by Bro. Stan J. Dawes.

Spiritual Abuse and Healing... 

Churches that Abuse: Help for those hurt by: legalism, authoritarian leadership, spiritual intimidation: by Ronald M. Enroth.

This book is about people who have been abused psychologically and spiritually in churches and other Christian organizations. Unlike physical abuse that often results in bruised bodies, spiritual and pastoral abuse leaves wounds on the psyche. It is inflicted by persons accorded respect and honour in society as religious leaders who base their authority on the Bible, the Word of God, but who have violated their sacred trust and misused the power entrusted in them by other members. The results can be catastrophic. The perversion of power leads to divided families, fosters an unhealthy dependence of members on the leadership, and creates, ultimately, spiritual confusion at best in the lives of victims. 

Healing Spiritual Abuse: by Ken Blue. The Biblical answer to the wounds of legalism and how to break-free-from bad church experiences.

How can we recognise the signs of spiritual abuse? What can we do to heal the wounds we have experienced?

Ken Blue answers these and other questions with frankness and honesty offering hope and healing strategies to victims of spiritual abuse. He also shows how to avoid abusive patterns and offer instead Christ's gospel of grace to every casualty of bad church experiences. 

Serpents in the Manger: Overcoming Abusive Christianity by Jerry 1. Harris, Ph.D. and Melody J. Milam, Ph.D.

Christianity has influenced everyone reared in our culture. Thus, to some extent, everyone faces problems originating from what the authors define as "Abusive Christianity". As the dysfunctions of Abusive Christianity are clearly defined, the authors offer positive and constructive suggestions for confronting and solving problems. Abusive Christianity prompts people to react to confrontation with defensiveness, anger, and condemnation‑a part of the pattern the writers define as the "Abusive Christian Model". The inflexible "thou shalt not" threats of punishment and eternal damnation often produce silent suffering victims with deeply troubled, guilt‑ridden psyches. But one does not cure abuse by being abusive; overcoming Abusive Christianity takes love and care.  TOP

The Knight in Rusty Armor: by Robert Fisher. A delightful allegorical tale told with wit and humour of one man's journey from fear, blame and a false self to truth, reality, responsibility, trust and love. 

The Princess Who Believed in Fairy Tales: by Marcia Grad. 

Fire in the Soul: a new psychology of spiritual optimism by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. In this book, the author reveals the power of spiritual optimism: a philosophy that sees life crises as opportunities for personal growth and spiritual transformation. Drawing on her own experiences and those of her therapy clients, she shows how meditation, prayer, and heightened awareness can illuminate the "dark night of the soul". This is when the soul is on fire, fueled by despair. Yet, this same soul bums with an inner flame that can consume negativity, allowing a new soul to be born. 

Care of the Soul: a guide for cultivating depth and sacredness in everyday life by Thomas Moore. 

Dated JEKYLL, married HYDE: delighting the differences between men and women by Laura

Jensen Walker.